[straysweeper]

I am an introvert by nature. I like a lot of self reflection and because of this I am also very reserved in my behaviors. I'm slow to anger, quicker to frustration, but I flash on embarrassment, humiliation, shame spectrum quite easily. I notice I don't see myself as someone that expresses their emotions, or does weird comical things. I've even been known to mute, or change the channel when watching something embarrassing that others do.

I find it a interesting paradox when I think of my most common emotions compared to those I wish to experience. But is the way I see myself, the way I believe about some actions preventing me from feeling the desired emotions, or even progressing the ones I don't? In Unleash The Power Within Seminar by Anthony Robbins, he has you do a lot with your body. I can remember after both my seminars I felt powerful, in control, hopeful, optimistic and more. Only to find that many aspects of this would wane afterwards. Dancing, meeting new people, acting goofy aren't a considered apart of my 'normal behavior'. I can't help but think that it is a part of me that I just happen to smoother?

When I was pursuing health, with eating better, cardio, and even some weight training it felt good. In some ways almost too good not knowing what to do with all the energy it would produce, good portion of which was sexual.

Contrast that with my behavior late, spending hours at the computer, or sleeping, not moving much. I've been to wondering which comes first, the motion or the emotion. The heart can deceive, sometimes telling your emotions to 'shut the **** up' isn't a bad thing?

I'm remembering this quote, I sing because I'm happy, I'm happy because I sing.