Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo  When I tell a guy "I don't need you", it is a compliment. It means "I don't need you in any way, yet I want to spend my time with you. Isn't it awesome how attractive you must be to me and how I love you so much!".  |
Seems you're just shifting the goal posts though.
Now instead of him saying, "You're only with me because you need me!" he can say, "You're only with me because I'm attractive!" or "You're only with me because I'm funny!" or "You're only with me because I'm quirky!"
Whatever it is that brings you together with someone can be seen in exactly the same way. Why value funniness, quirkiness, complementing personalities, or attractiveness? Why not value ability to provide, for instance?
Just because you need someone does not mean that you don't like them. Just because you need someone does not mean that you don't love them.
There is a biological instinct in men to be attracted to women who are vulnerable and need them. This is the desire to serve. You can try and modify the goalpost away from physical or emotional need over to "attractiveness" or "personality" or whatever, but all you're doing is moving the goalpost away from what is biologically inborn in humans over to something that is more artificial and less powerful, less bonding.
Humans instinctively want to pair-bond. Pair-bonding is a biological relationship where the man and woman both love each other, but they also need each other to fulfill certain needs. The mutual fulfillment of needs brings them closer.