This is masculinity, masculine instinct. When you act like you don't need him, he feels less masculine, and finds you less feminine.
Solution: Allow yourself to need him, and allow him to feel needed. Express appreciation for the things he does for you. Tell him you need him. Is that so bad? Is that dishonest? If it wasn't for him, you would have certain "needs" in your relationship unfulfilled.
Marriage, the Fascinating Way, By Helen Andelin talks a lot about stuff like this and has all kinds of relationship advice.