Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

polyfulcrum · 03-13-2009, 11:34 PM

My spouse is experiencing a mild withdrawal from our relationship because he doesn't feel as "needed" as he used to. This is a difficult place for me to be in, as I feel as though I am being penalized for being more emotionally healthy, rather than being appreciated for the personal progress I've made.

Having spoken with a number of men, they describe an attraction to the "White Knight" role, of saving a woman who needs help. I don't need him the way I used to, but I _want_ to be in a relationship with him even more, as he's done a lot of self-improvement that I greatly admire as well.

Is there a way of expressing this difference that would be impactful to those of you that desire being "needed" by your partner(s)? This seems largely like semantics to me, but I am open to finding another way of looking at it.

03-13-2009, 11:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
polyfulcrum Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Vancouver, WA Posts: 105	Would you rather be needed or wanted? My spouse is experiencing a mild withdrawal from our relationship because he doesn't feel as "needed" as he used to. This is a difficult place for me to be in, as I feel as though I am being penalized for being more emotionally healthy, rather than being appreciated for the personal progress I've made. Having spoken with a number of men, they describe an attraction to the "White Knight" role, of saving a woman who needs help. I don't need him the way I used to, but I _want_ to be in a relationship with him even more, as he's done a lot of self-improvement that I greatly admire as well. Is there a way of expressing this difference that would be impactful to those of you that desire being "needed" by your partner(s)? This seems largely like semantics to me, but I am open to finding another way of looking at it.