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Originally Posted by sagire  Hey everyone! I’m a big fan of these forums but I’ve never got around to posting. Now I’m at the point where I feel it could help me out and I need to.
Basically I’m a massive over thinker and perfectionist. During school I always procrastinate to the last second sometimes to the point where I hand in assignments late or have to do a 10 hour assignment in an hour. I feel it’s because I’m always scared that things won’t be perfect. Some how I’ve still managed to scrape by but I’m sick of not reaching my full potential. Here’s where the real problem begins. A few months ago I managed to start a relationship with an amazing girl. Things are going well but my over thinking has kicked into major overdrive. She is all I think about 24/7 and it’s really getting in the way of my life. I’m sure other people have this problem and I’m hoping someone can help me out. All I do at work is sit and wait for her to talk to me and all the while I think about what I may be doing wrong and how I can’t make everything perfect. I can’t do work, I can’t focus on friends, I’m off in some stupid dream land all day thinking in loops. Please if anyone could help me regain some amount of focus it would be greatly appreciated. |
Stop thinking. It aint worth it. The voice in your head (ego) is not you. The ego is your worst enemy. THAT voice is you WORST enemy! It'll tell you that this girl is everything and that nothing else matters. The voice tells you there is salvation to an unhappy present moment, but thats not true.
The present moment is all you have.
Accept everything for what it is. Be fully attentive to the feeling you have inside your body as a result of your thoughts of this girl. By being attentive you focus on the present. By being attentive to the feeling you stop thinking about the past & future. Do it now! Be aware of the pain but dont think about it.
Trust me, it wont last long. Even if you get to marry her, you'll eventually get bored of her and then look for something else to make you(ego) happy.
This is coming from a person who had the same experience in high school and even now. Can't stop thinking about her, thinks once I get her ill be happy, thinks all that matters is her. blah, blah, blah.... and another BLAH!
As for the right decision. There is NO right or wrong decision. You cant regret anything unless you think your the mind. You arent the mind. What is is what is. If she turns you down, accept it and be attentive of the feelings you get. NOTHING MATTERS son!
Whoever says im wrong is deluded.
