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Originally Posted by Farryn  I just discovered that my boyfriend looks at internet porn, and I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel wretched and undesirable. |
Have you asked him why he looks at porn? What you've said sounds like you're assuming all the reasons he's doing it without actually asking him. I doubt it has anything to do with finding you unattractive or undesirable. Although that is the first thing women usually assume based on what I've seen, so your reaction is pretty normal. Porn is actually a complex issue I think. It becomes habitual, and like any habit it's very difficult to break. It may also be encouraged by his male friends.
Once I had a friend who was in a long term relationship (a couple of years) and he still looked at porn. His girlfriend was aware of it, and I could see that she wasn't happy about it but apparently she didn't try to get him to stop. I couldn't understand why he needed it since he was in a very good relationship, but since I've never been in a relationship myself yet I have no personal experience that I can use to explain it.
All I can say is that you should talk to him about it to find out his reasons for looking at porn. I think that it wouldn't be too far fetched to say that most men look at porn to some extent, but if it really bothers you there's no reason why you can't tell him that. There's also no reason why he can't stop looking at it, especially if he truly cares about you and knows that it hurts you.