Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

skye11 · 03-10-2009, 10:39 AM

This may seem trivial to some but its really getting to me and Id appreciate some other peoples opinions. I spent the whole day with my best friend and her fiancee who I usually get along really well with. But today they seem to be deliberately trying to hurt my feelings. They know Im a very sensitive person but nevertheless keep trying to embarass me and push me into a corner. They say things like "too much chocolate will make your arse so fat!" or "what do you mean you dont want a drink? youre so f***ing ungrateful!" Yep - this is their sense of humour which I find really offensive when its aimed directly at me.

Like I say, Im a very sensitive person and they know this. I know theyre only joking but is there an underlying message I am missing? When I refused to fight back, she points out very proudly that I have a victim mentality. Correct me if Im wrong but that means you go about life blaming other people for all your problems? (I know Im complaining about them now and I get the irony...) But I dont normally do that, and I think she is getting mixed up because I look sad when I get insulted, i.e. like a victim. I feel like she is taking her own hurt out on me and covering up by making it all look like a joke. Deep down I do sense she is jealous of me, in some ways.

Im just really hurt that my best friend and her usually timid fiance would gang up against me like this, knowing it would hurt me. What are they trying to do? Trying to toughen me up for my own sake? Or just using me as a punch bag for theirs? They are all mouth one minute then all sweet and friendly the next. However I cant stand to be around them right now, I feel like I cant trust them with seeing the real me. I wish I had the mentality to say bugger off and not care but this really affects my confidence. Help??

03-10-2009, 10:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
skye11 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: UK Posts: 2	Should I toughen up? This may seem trivial to some but its really getting to me and Id appreciate some other peoples opinions. I spent the whole day with my best friend and her fiancee who I usually get along really well with. But today they seem to be deliberately trying to hurt my feelings. They know Im a very sensitive person but nevertheless keep trying to embarass me and push me into a corner. They say things like "too much chocolate will make your arse so fat!" or "what do you mean you dont want a drink? youre so f***ing ungrateful!" Yep - this is their sense of humour which I find really offensive when its aimed directly at me. Like I say, Im a very sensitive person and they know this. I know theyre only joking but is there an underlying message I am missing? When I refused to fight back, she points out very proudly that I have a victim mentality. Correct me if Im wrong but that means you go about life blaming other people for all your problems? (I know Im complaining about them now and I get the irony...) But I dont normally do that, and I think she is getting mixed up because I look sad when I get insulted, i.e. like a victim. I feel like she is taking her own hurt out on me and covering up by making it all look like a joke. Deep down I do sense she is jealous of me, in some ways. Im just really hurt that my best friend and her usually timid fiance would gang up against me like this, knowing it would hurt me. What are they trying to do? Trying to toughen me up for my own sake? Or just using me as a punch bag for theirs? They are all mouth one minute then all sweet and friendly the next. However I cant stand to be around them right now, I feel like I cant trust them with seeing the real me. I wish I had the mentality to say bugger off and not care but this really affects my confidence. Help??