Quote:
Originally Posted by lisamelinda  Do you have to want to let go of a relationship to be able to let go? |
Hi lisamelinda... I want to talk about something a bit tangential, so I hope I'm not hijacking your thread, but I have basically the same question as you do, but about a friendship rather than a romantic relationship.
What I have been pondering lately is the idea that some people (all?) are drawn into our lives because we are running patterns that attract that type of person. So if we work on ourselves and change our patterns, these people who are patterns no longer match should be no longer attracted into our lives and effortlessly fall away.
And also something Angela said on another thread (although she's not the first to say this), where when you are annoyed by another person's behavior, you have to turn the mirror back on yourself and really see where YOU are exhibiting that behavior... and be willing to change.
So I guess my question is can we just keep doing self-work and the negative people will naturally fall away from us, or do we have to actively shut them out? Because shutting people out doesn't seem very loving, forgiving, etc. And maybe, by being there to "push our buttons" and make us feel anger, sadness, etc., they are exactly where they need to be to teach us something about ourselves.