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I also feel like not talking to her is turning my back on her.
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It's not. Your devotion is laudable but it sounds like you need to face reality and start taking steps toward finding happiness inside yourself. If you personally aren't in a state of joy and peace, what are you going to offer to others?
The first step is probably cutting off communication for at least several months. You can always talk to her again in the future, but until you're feeling better, cutting off contact seems like the only practical course of action.