If you care about her a lot but genuinely feel you have exhausted every option for repairing the relationship, it is best that you break it off.
Look at it from the opposite side - ask yourself: would I want someone to stay with me, if they were staying only because they could not handle my desperation at their departure?
You are not responsible for her response to your choice. Although she is jealous and insecure, she is not a girl - she's a grown woman with three children, who needs to take responsibility for her own life and actions. The best you can do is to explain to her as gently and clearly as possible why you feel you cannot continue in the relationship, although you do care about her. The sooner you do this, the sooner it will be over and you can both move on. The worst thing would be to linger in a state of fear/indecision and drag it out for months longer.
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