The ego is a wonderful thing is it not? For most of my life I had to "be the best" so I could feel good about myself. Then I realized it was an artificial mental conflict, perpetuated by who knows who or what, for who knows what purpose. Now I don't give a **** about myself... but I am finding life to be quite frustrating overall. You know, all sorts of desires, most of which are contradictory of course, just to make things interesting
and not wanting to spend the energy to meet such desires...
Ahh ego is a wonderful thing, isn't it?