Quote:
Originally Posted by rawxstasy  All these replies are very helpful!!
Estudiant9 - I do the exact same thing as YOU!! Some hot guy will be giving me a big smile and I just stare back with a blank look on my face and I feel like I'm frozen. I am very good looking to and I still have this problem. 
How I feel anxious? I will notice a guy is interested and if I am attracted to him, I will start thinking "Oh my God, I can't believe he is interested." "I hope I don't do something to turn him off." that's pretty much what I think.
Secondary gain - I think I am too afraid of letting someone get closer to me because I think I am going to do or say something that will turn the person off and reject me. So I don't even give them a chance. I am protecting myself. |
rawstasy,
I have been certified in NLP for many years. It is a powerful system but requires some time to learn. Reading a NLP book does not necessary teach you the skills. It requires some training and some practice to learn the skills.
I recommend you start with the Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT can provide immediate stress relief and does not require too much time to learn. It was developed by Gary Craig, a NLP Master Practitioner. Refer to my earlier post for basic EFT instructions and also go on youtube for video instructions.
When you are tapping the EFT sequence, saying the following affirmation:
Step 1 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH some hot guy gave giving me a big smile and I just stare back with a blank look on my face and I feel frozen, I ACCEPT MYSELF DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY. (Tap several rounds and check stress level)
Step 2 - Say affirmation when tapping
When a hot guy gives me a big smile, I CHOOSE TO LOOK AT HIM AND FEEL FREE TO SMILE BACK. I CHOOSE TO SMILE BACK TO POSSIBLY INVITE HIM FOR A BRIEF CONVERSATION TO GET TO KNOW HIM. (Tap several rounds and see if doing this behavior is possible now)
Step 3 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH I notice a guy is interested and if I am attracted to him, I start to think "Oh my God, I can't believe he is interested" and "I hope I don't do something to turn him off" and EVEN THOUGH I AM MAKING THESE THOUGHTS, I ACCEPT MYSELF DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY. (Tap several rounds and check stress level)
Step 4 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH IN PAST I HAVE THOUGHTS LIKE ... "Oh my God, I can't believe he is interested" and "I hope I don't do something to turn him off", I CHOOSE TO SAY TO MYSELF .... COOL, FUN, A CUTE GUY IS INTERESTED IN ME AND HE WANTS TO MEET ME AND I CHOOSE TO ENJOY THIS MUTUAL MEETING PROCESS. I CHOOSE TO HAVE A PERCEPTION AND UNDERSTANDING THAT SOMETIMES WHEN I GUY IS INTERESTED, HE MAY BE JUST AS SHY ABOUT MEETING AND APPROACHING ME. I CHOOSE TO SMILE AT HIM AND INVITE HIM FOR A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION. (Tap several rounds, see yourself doing this and see if this is possible)
Step 5 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH I am very good looking to and I still have this problem, I ACCEPT MYSELF DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY. (Tap several rounds and check stress level)
Step 6 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THESE THOUGHTS that I'm good looking and still have this problem, I CHOOSE TO ACCEPT MYSELF DEEPLY, I CHOOSE TO VIEW MYSELF DIFFERENTLY MOVING FORWARD, I CHOOSE TO SEE MYSELF AS SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS MEETING PEOPLE AND ESPECIALLY GUYS I AM INTERESTED AND AT LEAST HAVE A CONVERSATION TO SEE IF HE HAS MORE THAN JUST HIS LOOKS AND SEE IF HIS INNER BEAUTY MATCHES HIS OUTER LOOKS. (Tap several rounds, see yourself doing this and see if this is possible)
Step 7 - Say affirmation when tapping
EVEN THOUGH, I am too afraid of letting someone get closer to me because I think I am going to do or say something that will turn the person off and reject me. So I don't even give them a chance. I am protecting myself, I ACCEPT MYSELF DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY (Tap several rounds and check stress level)
Step 8 - Say affirmation along with tapping
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SAID THE FOLLOWING... I am too afraid of letting someone get closer to me because I think I am going to do or say something that will turn the person off and reject me. So I don't even give them a chance. I am protecting myself, I CHOOSE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO AT LEAST HAVE A CONVERSATION TO QUALIFY AND SEE IF THIS GUY EVEN MEETS MY IDEALS. I CHOOSE TO SEE DATING AS A FUN PROCESS TO SORT GUYS OUT. CHOOSE TO UNDERSTAND SOME GUYS FIT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR AND SOME DOES NOT. CHOOSE TO AT LEAST GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE AND BY GIVING MYSELF A CHANCE, I GIVE THE POTENTIAL GUY A CHANCE. (Tap and see if doing this is possible now)
What setting are these guys in? Are these college guys you are referring to?
Anyways, after you tap, write down your thoughts and questions on this forum and I can try to assist you further. I am a Wellness Coach specializing in relationships and dating.
Dating is easy! Attract the person of your Dreams with Emotional Freedom Technique!
www. eft4dating.com