[pyrogen]

I'm having a hard time right now and I'm hoping this'll pull me through.

I just broke up with my partner, am still living together as roommates but don't know anybody in this town I'm in, and am feeling very insecure/lost/scared with situation. The fact that it looks like he's starting to date again makes me feel even more weird and insecure, like I could get kicked out at any moment, I know that isn't true - I know him pretty well - but I still feel this cold knife twisting in my gut. I have a lot of logistical problems to solve in order to move out, and once I move out. I need a plan.

I feel like I have this sheer whopping magnitude of logistical things to solve and I need to use everything in my power to stay focused on the future I'm creating.

I'm kind of following a format that a lot of religious people use, 2x a day (morning and evening - I got that idea from the Nichiren Buddhists) I'll be doing about half an hour of manifestation oriented meditation and prayer, in the morning and at bedtime... starting off with a gratitude roll. I need intense discipline to fight the sheer levels of negativity I'm dealing with.

I used to practice Buddhism so this kind of a schedule isn't strange to me.