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Originally Posted by rawxstasy  I've noticed that when I am attracted to a guy and I see that he is attracted to me, I start to avoid the person instead of giving them a chance to get to know me better. I think because when I am attracted to these guys I feel anxious, racing heart and nervousness. So in order to avoid feeling anxious I just avoid the guy. How do I overcome this? |
rawxstasy, I'm a guy who has the exact same problem as you, so know that you're not alone in this. I'm generally a very nice, polite, relatively easygoing and humorous guy, but all it takes for me to turn into a cold, aloof, seemingly oblivious SOB is for you to like me and vice versa. I'll avoid making eye contact with you, not smile at you, and pretend like I don't even know you're in my proximity. I've beaten myself up so many times over this because I'm a 23-year-old virgin with no serious dating experience (Kissed one girl). And if I may say so I'm considered very physically attractive.
Ralph said:
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You stay away from the guy because he seems to be attracted to you and you are to him, so you want him to be attracted. You are scare of blowing it by a failed approach, so you don't approach at all to preserve the status quo. You are so scared that you'll lose his attraction that you prefer to stay where you are in the relationship, while now, even if he barely knows you, he's attracted to you.
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Ralph, my eyes nearly popped out because you hit it so right on the head. The short term pleasure of maintaining that feeling of being wanted outweighs the long term benefit of actually getting on with the girl because I 'may' be rejected, be exposed to be a boring and worthless person, etc. What exactly do you recommend that we do in the way of NLP? I've heard about so many variations of it but have no idea how to actually do it. Help please?