Part of the problem, I think, is that we ourselves don't know who we are. We all have been told things about ourselves from other people that seemed wrong but on later reflection we were able to see it in ourselves.
The other thing is that if we don't tell other people who we think we are, then we don't have an opportunity to fine-tune our self-picture because other people won't tell us in what ways our self-picture is inaccurate.
I think people do care about who you think you are because it gives them something to compare themselves with, and also to gain a better understanding of what they like and dislike in a person which helps them understand themselves better. And "that deaf guy with the funny hair" is a lot less interesting person to get to know than "a composer and a darned good one".
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