Quote:
Originally Posted by The Cloud  Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you try to control yourself through your judgments and emotions. However, since judgments and emotions are not where control comes from, you will always be frustrated in such attempts. Good feelings and good thoughts do not create good actions. They may accompany good actions, but they have no power to create those actions. You create those actions. So your thoughts actually have no ability to create the problem that you've decided you have, because they have no ability to create any action. It's you that gives the problem life, not the thought, and it's you that can take that life away. |
The thing that maybe I haven't conveyed too clearly, is that my actions are not my problem, its my thoughts that cause me the misery. And I do try to control myself with my thoughts but in a very, negative way. Why would someone do that too themselves? I don't understand why if I had control, would I keep acting out of fear? I am very afraid, afraid of "shining too brightly". I'm afraid that I'll make a fool out of myself. And also, right now, in my "real life", people always, always comment on how "with it" i am, how I've got it all together. I guess I'm afraid to let people in on how shaky it is inside my head because they are all so convinced that I am some kind of superwoman.