You'll increase your chances for the close relationship that you want by searching for female friends, rather than for singles that date via Internet.
My current model of relationships is: friendship first, attraction second. I'm lucky to have some really attractive friends and they know me enough not to put me into the "girlfriend with a dick" wardrobe. It works out quite well.
As for what do you really want ... You want a close relationship with woman who will respect your freedom. You need someone who has very very little insecurities. Such woman won't be controlling or limiting you so much. There ARE such people on this planed, and you'll meet them if you're committed enough.
But first, determine what and who do you really want and have it on writing somewhere close to you. Sounds to me like a close relationship without too many rules. Perfectly possible.
Ralph
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