[pyrogen]

I stand by the "no last minute dates" rule early in a relationship. Later on it can be a little more flexible but also in a relationship, later on, the person starts to become more a regular part of your life and less of a "date". At THAT stage it's ok to do some last minute things.

Many women have been in the situation of being a "booty call" or being at the guy's beck and call but never knowing if they were actually going to see him one weekend from the next. Nobody wants to be in that situation. It's not just a guy/girl thing. If a woman did that to me - wouldn't make plans, it was all at her convenience - I'd dump her too. A man or woman who will make plans a few days in advance has respect for their partner and has a schedule that requires they make plans. They don't just let their life happen by accident. They create their life.

And the times I HAVE broken all of them, I ended up not being treated right. Most women have had the experience of 1) having some guy we were really really hot for who treated us badly because they could do ANYTHING and 2) some guy we weren't that into, who actually treated us well.

It's not because of some mythic "OMGBadBoyzzz!" appeal or because we're masochists. It's because when we have low self esteem, we get bit by the sex bug, we let them get away with anything and everything. It's the same as a guy getting oneitis then getting doormatty and handing his nuts to the woman on a platter.

Having rules for how we are to be treated - and how we behave - has helped women in my other community actually get with men THEY LIKE and have good relationships with them. They fall in love but they still remain the man's dreamgirl, and they fall in love with men who love them. They don't go all doormatty.

And women who let a man lead, DO show interest, in a way that keeps men wanting to keep trying. We just don't show interest in a *masculine* way. "Mars and Venus On A Date" by John Gray really goes into this.