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Do you actually think that thought ("I'm a loser") or maybe derivatives of it ("My relationship ended, I was too clingy, therefore I'm a loser")?
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Hmmmm. Not really.
I have a hard time explaining it Lauxa. Since I started the OP, I've come to some deeper realization about what was going on inside of me, and for some reason I'm just not feeling comfortable sharing it publicly for now. I do feel I've got a good multi-level intense plan of attack, to fix this, so I'm implementing it. I'll see how well it works, however I've had some very promising early results. Maybe later I'll feel comfortable talking about it publicly.
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Could you elaborate on this a bit? In what way is your problem intellectually challenging? I wonder if you're getting into your head a bit too much when maybe you should be getting into your body... working out... cleaning... or lending a helping hand to another person...
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I found it intellectually challenging because this was something I could spend my entire mental facilities on. I could trace all of the manifestation of this deep problem and it was interesting to discover so much about its manifestation, and then go back two-three months and trace some specific behavior it was causing, and specific emotions it was causing. This means I could engage my whole mind on something, and in truth, I love to engage my whole mind on something
. I'm a very intellectually-leaning guy. The problem I had before was that I wasn't willing to use my mind to dig deep into what was going on, I'd run away from what my emotions were telling me by distracting myself. By facing it and really exploring deeply what was going on, then I was able to make progress and uncover deeper layers.
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For me, I find that working on the surface-level thoughts is enough. I'm not sure that I have layers and layers of thoughts and beliefs. Or maybe the surface-level thoughts just percolate down to form the underlying layers. But retraining my brain's thought-circuits after years of negativity is definitely a process!
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We each do what works for ourselves, and different things may work for different people. I know that for 16 years I tried to just work on my surface thoughts, and install a lot of correct beliefs I had. I've had a lot of great improvement over the years because of that, but I still had some same fundamental issues that never went away. So, now by going deep I'm able to bring those issues to light and then deal with them.