Haha, yea. We play a lot of games we don't understand.
I dunno, maybe others are intimidated by the "beautiful" you. Perhaps you act differently when you feel you're beautiful than when you're not. Perhaps you feel that beautiful girls should act a certain way and you conform to that identity when you feel like that?
Since I haven't had this experience, perhaps you could just film yourself with a video camera in both modes and go over the footage and maybe post it here. However, I'm sure someone else will be able to offer you better advice than I can, especially if they've gone through this themselves.
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