[cylon]

I am interested in girls that are giving and generous and kind, not gold diggers or girls who just need attention to validate themselves. I've had enough experience with that. Now, I know ALL WOMEN are not like that. But since I know plenty ARE, what I need, is a way to distinguish, between the two. Everyone's time is valuable, including mine.

So I've learned ways to sift through that. Maybe I haven't perfected it, but I am looking for the diamond, not the rough around it. I am learning, like most people here.

One of the ways to distinguish between the two is to just take money out of the equation, COMPLETELY. Just get rid of it. In fact a lot of wealthy men, when meeting a woman, will lie about their jobs. They'll say they have a very low-income type job, just so they can weed out the girls looking for a meal ticket. And some brag about how much money they make, because they believe the only way a girl could ever like them is because of what he can do for her, not the type of person he is.

I do not take kindly to the idea that I am SUPPOSED to buy a drink, or pay for a date. Sorry, but that is not cool. Everyone has their own money. Some may say that's "masculine", I say it's being willingly taken advantage of.


(Although to be fair, I have to say, for ME at least, her buying her own drinks and food is not that big of a deal, at least in the beginning. A lot of women now are onto this and don't want to appear as gold diggers, so they gladly buy their own stuff. For a time.)


The part about how long to stay when first meeting someone, it goes down to supply and demand. We value that which is scarce, not that which comes to us easily. From many men's perspective, it doesn't look so great when you go out, start talking to the first attractive woman you see, and then make her your focal point for the entire evening. It looks desperate. She knows there are other women there. She knows you are looking.

And I believe that she wants to be the one that makes the biggest impression. When she sees that you aren't going to make her your reason for living, and works to earn you a little, in the end, she feels like she actually was the best girl there, and out of all the other options you had, you chose HER. So the girl feels special, and the guy feels good that he put a bit of planning in there and did his best to distinguish himself from the guys who would marry the girl right away, like the guys in the Pick Up Artist tv show. So in a way, they have both earned each other's admiration by showing that they have self-respect. And now they may have the beginnings of a relationship that is based on mutual respect. Which is a good thing.

So it's a guideline. The point is, be a little hard to get. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Make it more of a fun game instead of walking right into a serious relationship. That's all there is to it. The other stuff, is just guidelines to follow that sort of force you to follow through, because sometimes, you can work against yourself by being too interested, too early. When the "chase" is over, it's really over. And often, it's over before it's begun, simply because the guy didn't know when to walk away when he was ahead.