Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How to overcome my hesitation in hugging "strangers" in the "Free Hugs"?

seeker5 · 03-01-2009, 03:02 AM

I did it.

I stood out there for three hours with the Free Hugs sign, getting so many hugs. I've probably hugged more people today then in the last 10 years combined, if not my whole life.

Love turned out to be the solution to overcoming those fears and emotional reaction that I got previously. I realized that I didn't feel worthy of those hugs (as well as other stuff in my life). The key to feeling worthy, I realized three days ago, was to feel unconditional love for myself. Therefore, I have been imagining for three days how it would be to feel unconditionally loved - where I would love myself unconditionally. Two nights ago, after I saw the notice for this free hug event, I started imagining how it would be to feel unconditional love for myself while holding the Free Hug Sign. I did that for a while before falling asleep, when I woke up, while exercising, while driving in my car, while walking to class and any other moment when I had a free moment to concentrate away from all the other things I was already concentrating on.

This morning, I woke up with the thought I should do a SWISH pattern. This is something I learned many years ago from Tony Robbins but I haven't used it in probably 4-5 years or so. It's basically an NLP technique to train your mind to automatically trigger one wanted thought when the unwanted thought comes up. So I applied this SWISH thingy to myself while visualizing holding the Free Hug signs. I did it so that if the feeling of being of fear-get-the-hell-away feeling came up, it'd automatically trigger this feeling of unconditional love for myself. I didn't know how well that would work, but I thought why not try it, it couldn't hurt. Plus, I've learned the wisdom of listening to thoughts that come to my mind as soon as I wake up, especially if it's a thought I didn't have before.

About two hours before the event, I started feeling nervous. However, I knew that wasn't sinking feeling of fear that would say "get the hell away" feeling that I had felt before. Instead, it was the kind of nervous energy I get sometimes before making a public speech. Since I've given many speeches, my body is fully trained to go through it no matter how nervous I may feel. Thus I wasn't concerned, and I simply kept on imagining feeling unconditional love for myself.

So when I got there, I got the signs and I held it up immediately. I didn't have to hesitate, I just did it. I kept remembering and imagining the feeling of this unconditional love.

I initially stood by this guy next to me. I noticed at first he was getting a bit more hugs then I was. I didn't let it bother me, I knew from reading Steve's article it was simply he was a better vibration for hugs then I was at the time, and I figured with time my vibration for hugs would increase. Thus I'd just focus on this unconditional love if I wasn't being hugged at the time. My rate of being hugging picked up though after a while, so my vibration for it was raised

.

After a while, I went to do the ultimate test of standing on my own a good bit away from anyone. It was no problem, and I did it very easily and naturally and for a relatively long time. I was even able to stand on a corner of the street and look at probably a hundred people on the other side waiting for the "You may cross the street" sign to come on, look at them in the eyes and feel great. I did another test which was to walk around while holding the Free hug sign. No problem there too.

Not one single moment did this awful fear-numbing "get the hell out of here" feeling ever come up. When there were moments where I didn't get any hugs, I'd just remind myself of feeling this unconditional love.

I have so many touching and awe-moments of hugging and connecting. I hugged so many different kind of people - pretty much all kind. I've learned all of the different kind of hugs people give, and how to adapt my hug to the type they are asking for when they come to me. So those who wanted just a very short hug, I gave them a short hug. Those who wanted a relatively long and tender hug from me, or were receptive to that, that's what I gave them. I ended receiving several compliments about how good of a hugger I was.

I even earned money! One guy took some pictures of me (without wanting any hugs himself), and then went and put a dollar bill in the jacket I had laying behind me on the ground...!!

Several times someone would ask me why I was doing this. My answer was "I just want some hugs".

I'm very humbled and touched by my experience. I feel this is a huge achievement in my life, you don't know how much this means to me to be able to do this, to be able to overcome one of my worst emotional fear blocks so that I could connect to so many people in this fashion.

Thank you all for your help and your push in this thread. That's something wonderful about this forum, how we can get support and help from each other on here to help push us to new growth.

03-01-2009, 03:02 AM	#37 (permalink)
seeker5 Family Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3,606	Love was the answer I did it. I stood out there for three hours with the Free Hugs sign, getting so many hugs. I've probably hugged more people today then in the last 10 years combined, if not my whole life. Love turned out to be the solution to overcoming those fears and emotional reaction that I got previously. I realized that I didn't feel worthy of those hugs (as well as other stuff in my life). The key to feeling worthy, I realized three days ago, was to feel unconditional love for myself. Therefore, I have been imagining for three days how it would be to feel unconditionally loved - where I would love myself unconditionally. Two nights ago, after I saw the notice for this free hug event, I started imagining how it would be to feel unconditional love for myself while holding the Free Hug Sign. I did that for a while before falling asleep, when I woke up, while exercising, while driving in my car, while walking to class and any other moment when I had a free moment to concentrate away from all the other things I was already concentrating on. This morning, I woke up with the thought I should do a SWISH pattern. This is something I learned many years ago from Tony Robbins but I haven't used it in probably 4-5 years or so. It's basically an NLP technique to train your mind to automatically trigger one wanted thought when the unwanted thought comes up. So I applied this SWISH thingy to myself while visualizing holding the Free Hug signs. I did it so that if the feeling of being of fear-get-the-hell-away feeling came up, it'd automatically trigger this feeling of unconditional love for myself. I didn't know how well that would work, but I thought why not try it, it couldn't hurt. Plus, I've learned the wisdom of listening to thoughts that come to my mind as soon as I wake up, especially if it's a thought I didn't have before. About two hours before the event, I started feeling nervous. However, I knew that wasn't sinking feeling of fear that would say "get the hell away" feeling that I had felt before. Instead, it was the kind of nervous energy I get sometimes before making a public speech. Since I've given many speeches, my body is fully trained to go through it no matter how nervous I may feel. Thus I wasn't concerned, and I simply kept on imagining feeling unconditional love for myself. So when I got there, I got the signs and I held it up immediately. I didn't have to hesitate, I just did it. I kept remembering and imagining the feeling of this unconditional love. I initially stood by this guy next to me. I noticed at first he was getting a bit more hugs then I was. I didn't let it bother me, I knew from reading Steve's article it was simply he was a better vibration for hugs then I was at the time, and I figured with time my vibration for hugs would increase. Thus I'd just focus on this unconditional love if I wasn't being hugged at the time. My rate of being hugging picked up though after a while, so my vibration for it was raised . After a while, I went to do the ultimate test of standing on my own a good bit away from anyone. It was no problem, and I did it very easily and naturally and for a relatively long time. I was even able to stand on a corner of the street and look at probably a hundred people on the other side waiting for the "You may cross the street" sign to come on, look at them in the eyes and feel great. I did another test which was to walk around while holding the Free hug sign. No problem there too. Not one single moment did this awful fear-numbing "get the hell out of here" feeling ever come up. When there were moments where I didn't get any hugs, I'd just remind myself of feeling this unconditional love. I have so many touching and awe-moments of hugging and connecting. I hugged so many different kind of people - pretty much all kind. I've learned all of the different kind of hugs people give, and how to adapt my hug to the type they are asking for when they come to me. So those who wanted just a very short hug, I gave them a short hug. Those who wanted a relatively long and tender hug from me, or were receptive to that, that's what I gave them. I ended receiving several compliments about how good of a hugger I was. I even earned money! One guy took some pictures of me (without wanting any hugs himself), and then went and put a dollar bill in the jacket I had laying behind me on the ground...!! Several times someone would ask me why I was doing this. My answer was "I just want some hugs". I'm very humbled and touched by my experience. I feel this is a huge achievement in my life, you don't know how much this means to me to be able to do this, to be able to overcome one of my worst emotional fear blocks so that I could connect to so many people in this fashion. Thank you all for your help and your push in this thread. That's something wonderful about this forum, how we can get support and help from each other on here to help push us to new growth.