View Single Post
Old 02-28-2009, 03:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
RT Wolf
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, Canuckland
Posts: 1,737
RT Wolf is on a distinguished road
Default

Wow, a lot of advice from guys in this thread. Despite being a guy, I disagree with a lot of it. Guys tend to think with their heads and women with their hearts, for a gross overgeneralization.

I dunno the girl in particular, but you might have better luck talking to her about your feelings. Tell her how you feel when she does this. You may feel irritated or annoyed and you may tell her you question whether the relationship is right. If things are going well, she should be able to listen without getting defensive. Keep this part short.

Then ask her how she feels when she does this. What does she think when she does this? Two seperate questions: feeling and thinking. Why does she do this? Susanna has one theory of why she may do this: she thinks of everything as a question of whether you really care about her. Try to figure out why she does this, maybe it's what Susanna said. Be compassionate and considerate. Work with her to figure this out until you do. Be careful, though, listen carefully. A good rule of thumb is to keep your mouth shut, especially if you're about to give advice, recommendations or suggestions. Let her talk the thing out and just ask guiding or leading qeustions.

If this conversation doesn't go well, then you can figure out what else to do.

The above suggestion is backed by a solid two year relationship I'm in right now. Whether you implement it depends on whether you're interested in building a long term relatoinship with her. Cause this stuff is hard is hell, so you prolly wanna know it's worth it.
RT Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote