[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

Hi Seeker,

Hi Honneywith4bees

As you may know, I deal with some similar issues, and while I am still struggling, I truly feel like I am getting closer to finding the things that will work for me.

One of those things is meditation.

That's two people in this thread who has recommended it, so that's a big hint!

I was reading the book Eat, Pray, Love (great book!) and the author talks about realizing how boring one's mind truly is, just the same thoughts over, and over and over again, and i realized that I am definitely guilty of that one. I get into a thought pattern that starts out seeming innocent enough, but if left unchecked, wham! So, as Christine Kane recommends over on her blog, I am learning to "cultivate the observer". I used to try to repress (surfing the forums, eating, etc), but that would always come back and bite me in the butt. So this cultivating thing, I just kind of acknowledge and say No.

Thanks for the reinforcement! That's what I need to do - analyze deeply what my thoughts are at all times instead of doing this distraction stuff. I just formulated myself a rule yesterday, and I even used it yesterday once. That new rule for me is this: Anytime I feel any kind of emotional pain, no matter how small or how big, instead of distracting myself or ignoring it, I will as soon as possible fire up my journal and figure out exactly what thought generated it and go as deep as possible to find what happened. Then I'll figure out a way to deal with it.

I have also realized that for me, when I start to listen to the "I'm worthless" gremlin, the gremlin wants me isolated and alone, cut off from my Source. A quick fix can be doing something like going to a Yoga class. We always start with a meditation and an intention. That reminder plus the social interaction work wonders for me.

Ah thanks. Yeah, I need to force myself to do social interactions instead of shutting down completely. That led to my second rule I just formulated too, and I used it two days ago and it was helpful. If I make a social plan, no matter how bad I feel internally I'm going to keep it and go. That'll help prevent me from shutting down for a long period of time while doing distracting stuff. I applied that two nights ago, went to this event that I really didn't feel like going, and I loved it. It helped lift my mood. While I later had a recurrence of that deep pain that allowed me to only sleep for 2 hours, I believe had I not gone to that social event earlier in the day, it'd have been so much worst even though it was already so bad. I'd probably have gotten 0 hours of sleep.

The last thing that has been helping me, is Gratitude. I've begun collecting things like letters from friends, emails, photos, inspirational quotes, etc and put them into a place where I can go to for a daily reminder of how good life is, even if it is sometimes painful.

Ah that's beautiful! I like that idea.

I hope that you can find something useful in this post, and that you find a way out of your sadness.

Yes thanks . Although, technically I wasn't sad at all and didn't feel grief. I just felt this huge and incredibly intense pain that hurted so much that I didn't expect nor understand.

Love,