Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How to deal with an aging, financially irresponsible parent?

Alexjstrandberg · 02-24-2009, 04:10 PM

These are the difficult situations to be in. On the one hand you could help her which might drive her irresponsibility with money even deeper. On the other hand you could do nothing and this could be the wake up call that she needs to get everything together.

I've just begun to get my finances together after being in so much debt. I was reckless with my money and it wound up bitting me in the ass big time. It has been extremely difficult and took a while to get back on my feet. I believe that the harsh reality of being reckless with money wouldn't of set in if I had been helped.

Here is my personal take on helping others financially: I will help someone who is willing to help themselves. My girlfriend has an aunt that is 20,000 in debt because she is addicted to spending money on things she doesn't need. She makes over 4 grand a month but can barely pay her rent (600/month) because she pisses her money away.

If the aunt wanted to make serious changes I would help her out but she doesn't want to. She continues to waste her money instead of trying to help herself by putting a dent in some of that debt.

If I were to help her when she doesn't want to change it will only prevent her from hitting rock bottom. Rock bottom is the tipping point where the person realizes what they have been doing isn't too healthy and needs to change. It might be painful for my gf's aunt right now but eventually that pain will become too much and she will change.

I wouldn't suggest micromanaging your mom's life, that would only lead to more problems. I suggest assessing the situation and see if your mom wants to change but needs help or she wants to continue to go deeper into debt.

02-24-2009, 04:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alexjstrandberg Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 300	These are the difficult situations to be in. On the one hand you could help her which might drive her irresponsibility with money even deeper. On the other hand you could do nothing and this could be the wake up call that she needs to get everything together. I've just begun to get my finances together after being in so much debt. I was reckless with my money and it wound up bitting me in the ass big time. It has been extremely difficult and took a while to get back on my feet. I believe that the harsh reality of being reckless with money wouldn't of set in if I had been helped. Here is my personal take on helping others financially: I will help someone who is willing to help themselves. My girlfriend has an aunt that is 20,000 in debt because she is addicted to spending money on things she doesn't need. She makes over 4 grand a month but can barely pay her rent (600/month) because she pisses her money away. If the aunt wanted to make serious changes I would help her out but she doesn't want to. She continues to waste her money instead of trying to help herself by putting a dent in some of that debt. If I were to help her when she doesn't want to change it will only prevent her from hitting rock bottom. Rock bottom is the tipping point where the person realizes what they have been doing isn't too healthy and needs to change. It might be painful for my gf's aunt right now but eventually that pain will become too much and she will change. I wouldn't suggest micromanaging your mom's life, that would only lead to more problems. I suggest assessing the situation and see if your mom wants to change but needs help or she wants to continue to go deeper into debt.