Quote:
Originally Posted by ThoughtAddict  I regret not expressing this love sooner.
Part of this is a scarcity based mindset... thinking of someone as one of the few people who will just really, truly get it. Who really understood me at a core level. And a fear that I've ruined that very rare connection. But it is hard to separate the scarcity based thoughts from the very true, pure happiness and connection and its loss and my general responsibility for it. Perhaps it is just part of growing older and taking responsibility for who you are. On reflection, it aches rather than hurts, and I expect, in the more honest moments in my future, I'll still shed a tear. For now, I guess I wait, not expecting much, but hoping that at least I'll know the message was received. It is out of my hands, and I made the right decision at long last. |
Hey, ThoughtAddict, I would like to invite you to practice letting go of that regret, and looking at it from a perspective that you expressed your love at exactly the right time, for you, for her, and for the world.
By going through everything you went through leading up to writing your letter, you get to have the realizations and breakthroughs that you're having now and that are right up ahead, and that's perfect, isn't it?
When you said that this is a scarcity based mindset, it occurred to me that it looks also (to me) like an at-effect mindset -- like: there are a few people out there who have the innate capability of being able to completely get me, and it's tragic if one of those external opportunities slips through my fingers. Do you think you might feel better and more powerful if you were to move a bit more to the at-cause side of things? I was thinking that maybe you would, especially since the next words out of your mouth were about responsibility. You know, don't you, that you are the infinite power to communicate yourself so boldly and lovingly that anyone can totally get you, and that you are 100% responsible for that communication.
I don't know if I totally get you, but I do know that I would love to, and that I'm not alone in that.