Quote:
Originally Posted by gingembre  It seems to me you are not getting *your* needs met. You are uncomfortable with your bf flirting with other girls in front of you (or being flirted with) and when you bring it up, he brushes you off. Given how careful you are to avoid even the appearance of impropriety with regards to your bf's friend (aka fluffy pink bunny!), you are understandably upset that your bf refuses to even take *you* concerns seriously - and it sounds as though you have reason to have many of them.
Valueable as it can be to consider another's behavior as a "mirror" of you, and vice versa, it seems to me that you are reaching a point wherein a serious conversation needs to happen, and where you may want to be open to the possibility of a break (even temporarily) from teh relationship if you bf is not willing to meet you halfway. Your concerns ARE valid. Please do not let your insecurities (i.e. you are nerdy and somehow not deserving such a handsome bf - something I am certain is not true) blind you to the fact that *your* needs are valid and important and must be met as well.  |
You've really hit the nail on the head with my feelings about the inequality -- double standard, if you will -- that I feel is present in the relationship.
This is exactly what makes me so angry and has me on the verge of leaving. I treat these people (all males we know, basically) as if I hardly know them (not doing things I would normally do for a friend or even a casual aquaintance) to avoid even the implication of impropriety and this is what I get for my efforts from someone who has made no such effort himself.
But truly I know my concerns are valid and that he is taking more liberty for himself than he's willing to give me. I also know he can't see that from where he is.
I may have already been gone if we weren't so "stuck" in terms of living situation.
I love him very much, but I'm losing respect for the balance of power he thinks is appropriate in relationships.