[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Sadly, this is not a happy little tale of polyamoury at its best. I'll try to keep it brief, but I could really use some help. I did not want to post this wide, but I'm at loss.

BF has a friend. Friend is quite good looking. I am friendly to friend as we get a long well enough. He seems to be a decent guy. Apparently, friend looks at me a good deal according to bf. I haven't noticed this myself. In my opinion he pays me the most cursory of attention...just being friendly.

So, bf is angry with me because in conversation about this topic I truthfully said that his friend is a good looking guy and his supposed attention is flattering. I can see how lots of people would say I made a big mistake in being truthful there, but I desire honesty, so it's what I try to give. I also made clear that I have not acted improperly toward or with said friend and have no intention of doing so. I told him that if he preferred he could stop having said friend over to our house and instead they could hang out at his house. (I would have offered to leave the house myself but since they are together constantly I'd never get to be in my own home).

Facts:

Friend is an attractive, decent guy. Made no inappropriate advances to me, in fact we rarely converse.
I am loyal to bf. Attracted to but have no intention of acting on that with friend. Keep conversation with friend to minimum and go out of my way to let bf know if friend contacts me for any reason (always looking for bf).
Bf has kissed someone else, sent and received numerous inappropriate texts with various girls, allegedly had sex with others and goes out fairly often to parties and overnight "vacations" with friends, many times "forgetting" to tell me that females will be present.

I'm at a loss. Bf states he hates other guys looking at me. I don't know what to do about this situation at all. I can't control where they look. I am the only one getting "punished" for this as he hasn't said anything to his friend. In addition, he completely negates any feelings I've had when girls have openly flirted with him while I'm standing right there. He says that it's nothing and I should just get over it.

The bottom line though is that I do have an attraction to this other guy. That's a first for me since we've been together. And the more bf gets angry with me and pushes me away the more it builds up. And still I will not let myself act out. I refuse. But I just don't know what to do. I don't even believe that said friend even really notices me. I really think all of this is in my bf mind. His friend is a good friend to him first and foremost. Secondly, I am really not all that to look at. Both bf and friend are handsome guys and could be with anyone, no need to compete over nerdy little me. Thirdly, I think he's just scared now that he's committed and loves me that he will lose me to someone he perceives as better than him.

Bf is being cruel and harsh with his words and it's just wearing me down. I'm so exhausted from trying to make sure I don't offer his friend a drink or accidentally laugh at something he says or have a normal conversation with him. I feel like a prisoner.

I could keep rambling, but do your worst. Advice, criticism, escape plan? Just seriously give it to me straight. If I'm in the wrong I am fully ready to take responsibility for that.

ETA: There's more to this story I think but I don't know how relevant. Anyway, I'll take what you've got and I appreciate the hard questions if there be any.