When I go out with someone, the focus is on getting to know/spending time with them, not spending money on them (or having it spent on me). The height of formality was usually meeting up for coffee, then if we were enjoying each other's company we'd walk across the street to the local arboretum, sit on a bench and talk more, or climb a tree
For what little money was spent, we each paid for ourselves and it was never a question. I didn't try to provide any sort of deceptive excuse for only covering myself, it just didn't come up. If a girl was turned off by that, I'd rather her not want to go out with me again than have her always expect me to pay. I want an equal partner, someone who can initiate/take care of things as much as I can, not a dependent that always needs me to lead and foot the bill.
As for him not planning an exotic valentines date, why didn't you? I love it when a girl gives me chocolates
