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Originally Posted by DJCT  The problem is my ability to do things that I don't care about. If I don't care about something it is like I have a physical or psychological problem engaging it. It isn't a matter of willpower or "getting over myself" as some friends/relatives have suggested. My brain just outright refuses to engage in it. I can't concentrate on whatever it is. I become dumb and lethargic and feel dead inside.
If it is something I care about however, I can marshal internal resources not normally available to me. It doesn't matter if it is brutally difficult, time consuming or whatever. My energy goes through the roof, all my abilities are maximized and I feel alive.
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DJCT
By chance, do you know what personality type (MBTI) you are? In your post you describe me and my life almost to a 'T'. I have been described as 'not very bright' and 'flippant' 'lazy' etc in my day job from time to time, usually by regimented so-called 'leader' types, but in other areas that interest me I've been described as (and I'm not making this up) 'unbelievably resourceful' 'a true and unique talent' and the best one....'able to single-handedly move mountains'
Now I am none of the above!! It is just a matter of when I'm engaged and when I'm not and who I am engaging with.
Would you agree though that unfortunately it's that things you aren't engaged with that make the money? Thereby forcing you to become engged even when your mind and body is saying 'Run Away!'