Hi g5etbox,
Are you making it more complex than what it needs to be?
I suggest you call a family meeting to discuss options for the 24/7 care of their mother. You mentioned in your other post that you do not want to see your partner put into care, but there may be other options such as home assistance, the family or friends helping out or something else. Allow them to take on some of the responsibility. Be honest with them about your own mental health. You need help and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Do you have a need to feel needed that has contributed to this situation?
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