Quote:
Originally Posted by tintin  susanna ,i wanted a more meaningful relationship free from shuds and shdnts.
its like ..who are you?and who am i?and why have we really met ?what do i have to offer you and what can i learn from you? please show me YOU sans these labels and let me show myself without any fear of rejection.
lets come together .lets dance. |
This is so true. I think it's an ideal that more people are striving for with their famillies. And there is nothing wrong with that other than it goes against social norms and what you've been brought up to believe about famillies.
I have a stepmother who has this all down pat. She follows her regular routine when visitors are around. But people respect her because when she IS around she makes sure she is genuine and honest and caring without overemphasising any of this for appearance sake.
IT is a soft boundary but a necessary one. It's hard to change your patterns if you are around very overbearing opinionated family members though.
Maybe just be honest when you are subjected to the endless gossip/illness talks etc- for eg. "I'm trying to distance myself from gossip material" or "I'm trying to stay away from fear-based influences like news of illness/disease (etc.)".
The reason people talk about these types of things is because they are avoiding meaningful connection. The social norms etc are just there as a kind of distraction from real deep connection. Maybe they haven't experienced it before and you could be the one to teach them....?
But yes, you must reach an equilibrium where you have enough time to centre and calm yourself and are able to take that state of mind into your interactions with them for the short bursts that you decide to share things with them.
Good luck!! It's something everyone needs to learn how to handle gracefully
