[bluedragon]

I think that if you appear not confident in a certain situation, then there is at least one (or a few) aspects of that situation that you are insecure with.
However, you can be a very strong person.
For example, a strong person is able to deal with things and get back on his feet. But at the same time, someone who is strong may chose not to expose himself to situations that may hurt him, because he wants to protect himself (from intimacy, for example), and thus behave as an insecure guy because he is avoiding something. That doesn't mean he is not a very sensitive and at the same time strong and independent guy, who could support a loving partner yet not be needy and remain in control of himself. He just doesn't know it, and avoids it at all costs.
For example, I am totally open to relationships with girls, but everytime I was this open, I ended up just being friends (life-long friends, nevertheless).
But now I want to actually have a relationship, and I sometimes appear closed because I'm afraid to end up just friends again. So I have to be careful if I don't want to appear as someone I am not.