You invested in a relationship and it turned out badly. That happens. The very fact that you're having doubts, though, suggests that that wasn't the case. Either it's becoming a pattern, or it's happened more than once. So, lemme ask some leading questions:
Why did you keep supporting him even after he graduated? Are you sure you didn't just give him a safe place to make excuses and get away with it? What's the difference between an excuse and a reason? Give me something you consider a "reason" and i'll give you a success story where someone didn't accept those as reasons. Are insecurities a reason or an excuse?
A professor of mine told us a story about the two ways mothers handle children who don't wnat to do something because they're afraid. One kind of mothers say, "it's ok. you don't have to do it because you're afraid" and then they hug them. The second kind say, "yea, I know you're scared. Do it anyway." And they push them out. Guess which one of the above kids learns that they're bigger than their fears and which one learns that fear means stop and that they can't overcome their fears. On the one hand, the mother pushed the child into an emotionally upsetting situation, but the child learned something very, very important. The other mother saved the child from being upset, but robbed it of what is necessary to grow up. So, are you absolutely sure you didn't empower his weaknesses and let him get away with it?
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