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Old 02-19-2009, 08:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
RT Wolf
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, Canuckland
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What you're doing, woudl you suggest to someone else do the same thing? IMO, that's the test of whether you're treating yourself fairly or whether you'r being too self-sacrificial.

Think of yourself as just another person and you happen to have control and this person is more likely to listen to your recommendations. So, you tell this person to stay at work overtime for your boss rather than go home to enjoy his/her life, is that fair to you?

It takes a bit of a trick to not treat youreslf so...personally and be a bit more detached from yourself enough to treat yourself fairly. If you have a propensity for self-sacrifice, why do you believe there is a limited amount of whatever? Have you tried finding win/win solutions rather than lose/win solutions?

Most people treat themselves quite poorly. The best thing I've got as an antidote is not to treat yourself as yourself, but to treat yourself as a different person that you care about and genuinely want to do good for. Treat them like a loved one. You want your loved ones to have fun, too, and to enjoy themselves, but you also want them to work, etc.

Keep in mind, the martyr game is a tricky one, if that's what you're playing. If you're just being too sacrificial and putting others needs ahead of your own (why are you doing that? you're both people, equal as far as I'm concerned), then that's not relaly the martyr game. That's prolly a different game.
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