I used to make those financial "mistakes" as well, and try to hide them. The BEST thing we (me and my then-husband) did was to separate our finances - we had household money, which he managed, and we looked at together (but I couldn't access the account) and we each had our own separate account. I didn't have to make choices from that place of shame, just accept what I did and move on to best help the family.
If it's helpful at all, I don't do those same things any more. You can change.
One thing a friend said to me in that time was "Your house is burning down. Don't spend time trying to figure out how the fire started: put out the fire!"
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