 Three weeks later and I'm in the same place
My fear of disappointing her and myself has kept everything on the same path... the money issues are ongoing as I struggle to repair my previous issues and keep daily life on an even keel.
But inside, I know that this is wrong. And deep inside, where it's easy to ignore, is the voice that this is all going to self-destruct anyway.
And I keep doing the same things again... more lies, to cover my inattention to details and trying to make up for prior shortfalls and knee-jerk spending.
I feel like I'll never just accept the damage I've caused, and actually start living honestly. But I have to, or this shame and guilt is going to eat me alive, let alone that we'll have broken up in the end anyway.
Why can't I let go of the fear of not measuring up, enough to start healing this?
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