Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeRad  Speaking as someone who is working to get himself out of a situation where he gives most of his money, time and feelings to people who manipulate him, please take notice.
It will not get better. people, unless they WORK at it, do not improve. External help (you) can assist them in their transformation, but they need to be committed to it. Thinking that you stepping in and helping with money and emotional support....well, at least in my case all I did was make the situation worse. I now have the emotional damage of working to force my own father out of my home and onto what will likely be a life on the streets. It pains me, it hurts, and I know that these are all feelings I will need to deal with for years to come.
If the person you are trying to help doesn't really want to improve, but instead is seeing you as a way to get a free ride, no amount of love on your part will change that. I am certain, based on experience and what I have studied, that there are people in this world who are basically vampires; people who feed on the generosity of others. maybe this belief is a harsh one, but it is what I know from my life.
I do not know the particulars of your unique situation, but I ask, please, for yourself, that you try to see if this will harm you. Try to determine how genuine your friend is before you jump in with both feet.
Take Care,
JoeRad |
Sometimes I think that he is taking advantage of me, that I'm only good for the money and a passport, but I'm not sure. I rather don't think about this a lot. Makes me feel sad. But the thing is, I don't give him money anymore. I stopped doing that a month and a half ago. He seems fine with the situation he says. He felt bad for asking me money, he told me.
But If I go back he probably will start to ask for money again since I probably will be the only one making a living there.