[Colm OReilly]

Stephane from ideagasms.com sent out this mail a while ago, has some interesting points to consider methinks:

BEFORE you tell your girlfriend what happened, you need to understand
why you did it, come to terms with it, forgive yourself, and
ultimately have compassion for yourself.

THEN you can tell her what happened and apologize.

You see, if you apologize from a position of guilt, shame and
fear, she'll smell the weakness and eat you alive.

But... if you apologize from a position of inner-strength and
wisdom, she'll feel it.

Everything you do in life is for the greater good of your soul's
evolution.

Including this "mistake".

Sometimes we go down roads that we KNOW are unbalanced and ultimately
not good for us, but we NEED to go down those roads for a little
while to learn whatever truths we are seeking.

So HOW should you apologize to her and WHAT should you say?

Here's a little suggestion -

Tell her, "I learned a real lesson last night from an experience
I really needed to go through. I'm glad I went through this
even though it was painful.

Now, there's something I want to tell you, but before I do,
I want you to understand that the lesson I learned really wasn't
about you, or about us. It was about my own inner-strength and
my own heart.

I almost cheated on you last night, but the thought of betraying
you was too much. I stopped myself before things went too far.


I'm sorry that I played with fire. I kissed her but the further
we went, the more I thought of you and that's when I put on
the breaks.

I apologize for even going that far to begin with, but I'm glad
I went through this because the experience re-affirmed how lucky
we are to have found each other."

ASSUMING those words are honest words, something like that will
do quite nicely.

Don't memorize it as a script; it's just an example of how someone
with self-respect would apologize.

An interesting thing you will notice is that women aren't so
concerned with the physical details of what body parts touched
whom and how... She will be concerned about the EMOTIONAL aspects.
She will want to know if you LOVED the other woman more than
anything else.

But men are different... "I don't care if you LOVE him, I want
to know where he touched you!"

It's just a little difference I've noticed between the sexes.

Now, I've seen so many guys make mistakes and apologize to their
girlfriends in the wrong way.

When it comes to communicating with women, a s s kissing is
NEVER good.

If you apologize from a position of weakness and low self-esteem,
your girlfriends MUST jump all over you like pit bulls. They
have very little choice in the matter.

This is because women are sensitive, vulnerable creatures that
are "programmed" to seek out STRONG YANG PROACTIVE MEN.

ANY sign of weakness causes a woman's survival instincts to
kick in and protect her. Biologically, she is heavily programmed
to anticipate being 8.5 months pregnant and COMPLETELY DEPENDANT
on her chosen man.

A man's complete sexual act lasts for a few minutes. A woman's
complete sexual act lasts for 9 months and then another 18 years
or more.

That's a lot of pressure.

Guys ask me all the time why women never stop testing them,
and why women never seem to be 100% loyal.

"Even if she's loyal, I always catch her looking!"

It's because a woman is HEAVILY programmed to try to find the
best possible man she can get to ensure not only HER survival,
but the survival of her children.

This is also why women are SO MUCH MORE SELECTIVE than we are.

And this is why women constantly seem to test us. They have
a strong need to know that the man they are with is going to
be able to Protect, Provide, and Penetrate