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Originally Posted by indestructible  One problem was handling setbacks. If I made a mistake, I would want to give up instead of forgiving myself and continuing, or learning from the mistake and changing my strategy. This all-or-nothing attitude about mistakes sometimes led to depression, because I saw the mistake as giant, and myself as hopeless. I did some exercises where I listed mistakes of people who I really admired - and it helped me see that it is fine to make mistakes - and they can be used as tools for learning. I knew this intellectually before of course, but absorbing it took a lot of work.
I also lacked self-acceptance. I believed that the author and the people that could follow the book or program were somehow perfect and I was flawed. Now I realize that probably even the people in books did not have a perfect road and I am fine even if it takes me a bit longer to get to the point that they have reached - or if I reach my own unique point instead of theirs. This took a lot of work, but realizing that I am "fine" even though I am not perfect. I read a book called "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach on this last year which was excellent.
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I agree! It's about learning from the mistakes you make along the way and changing your strategies to get a different result.
Setting specific and attainable goals are important too. No doubt you want to make a quantum leap by setting higher goals, but they've got to be attainable, otherwise you'll find yourself working so hard and yet the goal is forever too big or too far to be in sight. If your goal is too far to be seen, how can it motivate you to prod on?
Whether or not you achieve the goals is a side issue. But what's real and concrete is so long as you continue to take actions in self-improvement, you will gain some learnings. It's a definite thing. You will surely take away some things during the process, and by knowing how to appreciate those little successes, your depression will not have a way to come in while you are on your road in self-improvement and personal development.
It's not easy to start doing this, because I'm like this too (so ironical isn't it) But I'm doing my best to stop feeling like this and learn to celebrate little successes along the way and relishing in the experienes I gained.
Maybe you wanted to mean having the feeling of being defeated when things just don't seem to move as fast as you like to be? If that's the case, I don't think that's depression too!
