Quote:
Originally Posted by Xanafax  As for this thread, darkworking is not a desperate solution made by people who are being wronged.
It's a conscious choice. |
I can't remember ever making a consious choice when I was younger knowing the full scope of what I was doing. I mean, choosing to be a dark worker seemed like the only way to me at the time. That's what I mean about is it a decision based on circumstance?? Such as the environment I was brought up in? Or must there have been some specific incident- such as my parents divorce or a repressed trauma, maybe sexual, that would bring up so much fear?
I'm asking because when I changed to lightworking and started to take responsibility for everything it got to a point where I couldn't see why I should take responsibility for being a darkworker when I was so young- it couldn't possibly be my fault. And so I went back to darkworking almost naturally due to thinking about that over and over again and not finding a solution. It just seemed way way too much responsibility to take on board without killing myself- especially when no one around me (parents etc.) were taking responsibility for themselves.
Which also got me thinking (and fretting)- did I create all this? Is it all the other way around? I always thought I was unhappy because of my parents but what if it was me who caused them to become like they are and in turn make myself unhappy??
So how do I resolve this? Do I see a psychic or something to get clarity on my early childhood?