Steve, this was a great podcast. Basically, I sense that you're saying "BE what it is you want to be, and you'll get there." And I can think of an example similar to your weight example. I get pretty good grades in school, but most of my friends don't. They think that I'm super smart or that I don't have a life and study all the time, neither of which is true (at least I don't think so). The fact is, I attract good grades by being the kind of person I am. The exact characteristics I can't quite put a finger on, but it comes with a lot of confidence, which feeds my competence, providing further feedback to my confidence. And if I suddenly switched spots with a friend who was getting B's and C's, I'd shriek, and immediately set the course to get A's and A+'s. Like you say, it would be hard work (it's not like I do nothing), but wouldn't involve venturing into uncharted territory or fighting balrogs. The actions would come swiftly and naturally, and there'd be no stress. I would take action very matter-of-factly because I know exactly what I need to do. And yet, getting good grades isn't exactly so fine a science that there's a set formula that everyone can follow and replicate.
So when I think about my experience that way, I turn to the other areas of my life where I'd like to improve - socially, financially, romantically, and in some of those areas, I switch places with my friends. They're the ones getting the A's and A+'s, and I'm stuck with B's and C's. I'm sure if someone else landed in my shoes, they'd be hooked up with someone by next week, made several new friends, and started a ceramic cleaning business that generates wads of cash... with time leftover to play Nintendo. To get where these other people are, I need to find out how I'm different from them in my thoughts and attitudes, and try some of them on for size. They may fit easier than I think. |