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Originally Posted by yintherapy  today he started insisting that we give her away this weekend....Plus he says he made a resolution to push fear-based influences out of his life, and that being around her brings him down. |
Excuse me?!? HE started insisting that WE give her away? So what I've learned about this fellow is that his solution to a difficult problem in your relationship is to make you get rid of it, even if you love it. The cat is not a "fear-based influence;" the cat is a living thing that the man lacks the resources to be able to deal with effectively.
If you give in to this demand that you sacrifice something you love so the he is saved from the inconvenience of learning how to deal with it, you are 100% responsible for setting up this pattern in your future life together -- because that's what it will be. If there's an issue in the relationship, YOU will be the one who will be required to solve the problem, and you must sacrifice your own desires and needs to his. And do you know why? Because by giving this cat away, you are creating an unwritten contract agreeing to it.
YOU, my dear, are the cat. Do not give yourself away, I implore you.