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yintherapy · 02-05-2009, 02:26 AM

What's your take on this, because it's really upsetting me and I could use a second opinion...

My boyfriend and one of my cats don't get along. He's been urging me to give her away, and today he started insisting that we give her away this weekend. He's adamant about giving her away because he can't stand her; he doesn't even like being in the same room as her. He's been trying for the past few months to get on her good side and now he's really fed up, and it bothers him a whole lot that she hates him, even though it's probably because he reminds her of someone else who abused her or something. Plus he says he made a resolution to push fear-based influences out of his life, and that being around her brings him down.

I'm torn because on one hand, I know that she's not happy around him; she cowers and hides the whole time he's here, and I don't want her to be unhappy. But on the other hand, he's being so damn immature and obsessive and impatient about it. I want to keep her until he and I move in together (in June, when my lease expires) - why do give her up now? He spends half the week at my place now, and she hides in another room the whole time, and if she's in the same room, he moves her out of sight. How can someone let a little cat get to him so badly? It's just a cat! And how will this intolerance crop up in other situations in the future?

I made phone calls today, and the local shelter said they'd take her in, and if she didn't pass her evaluation, they'd give her back to me instead of euthanizing her (which is a big concern for me). The person I talked to at the shelter said that she just needs time, she'll come around eventually. I made an appointment to give her up but when I passed by her I started crying because I'd miss her, and she's such a sweet cat - when he's not around.

What really pissed me off today is that my boyfriend hinted at not seeing me until I give up the cat, and that's not cool. I'm not sure if he was joking, so I told him not to make threats like that unless he meant them. He responded saying that he's not threatening me, he loves me, it's just that the cat really bothers him.

How should I handle this?

P.S. - For you cat lovers out there - I know that shelters are crowded. If I give her up, I'm going to adopt another adult cat to make room in the shelter for her.

02-05-2009, 02:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
yintherapy Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 54	Boyfriend versus Cat. What's your take on this, because it's really upsetting me and I could use a second opinion... My boyfriend and one of my cats don't get along. He's been urging me to give her away, and today he started insisting that we give her away this weekend. He's adamant about giving her away because he can't stand her; he doesn't even like being in the same room as her. He's been trying for the past few months to get on her good side and now he's really fed up, and it bothers him a whole lot that she hates him, even though it's probably because he reminds her of someone else who abused her or something. Plus he says he made a resolution to push fear-based influences out of his life, and that being around her brings him down. I'm torn because on one hand, I know that she's not happy around him; she cowers and hides the whole time he's here, and I don't want her to be unhappy. But on the other hand, he's being so damn immature and obsessive and impatient about it. I want to keep her until he and I move in together (in June, when my lease expires) - why do give her up now? He spends half the week at my place now, and she hides in another room the whole time, and if she's in the same room, he moves her out of sight. How can someone let a little cat get to him so badly? It's just a cat! And how will this intolerance crop up in other situations in the future? I made phone calls today, and the local shelter said they'd take her in, and if she didn't pass her evaluation, they'd give her back to me instead of euthanizing her (which is a big concern for me). The person I talked to at the shelter said that she just needs time, she'll come around eventually. I made an appointment to give her up but when I passed by her I started crying because I'd miss her, and she's such a sweet cat - when he's not around. What really pissed me off today is that my boyfriend hinted at not seeing me until I give up the cat, and that's not cool. I'm not sure if he was joking, so I told him not to make threats like that unless he meant them. He responded saying that he's not threatening me, he loves me, it's just that the cat really bothers him. How should I handle this? P.S. - For you cat lovers out there - I know that shelters are crowded. If I give her up, I'm going to adopt another adult cat to make room in the shelter for her.