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Originally Posted by Foggy  I don't want her back. She's not the type of person who I want to keep in my life. She has acted with total disregard for my emotions and I cannot bring myself to have someone like that in my life. However, I still feel like a bomb has gone off in my stomach. I feel lost, confused, distrusting of other people and myself. I am upset with myself for the things that I did to help bring the relationship to a close (I was jealous, I played mind games), and I feel that I personally don't deserve another relationship. I keep wanting to call her and try to work things out but I know that she's not the person I want her to be and no matter how much I try I will never have the type of relationship with her that I want. I am not the type of person I want to be either, and the logical side of me says that I should focus on that because I may be able to change it. The scared part of me doesn't believe that I can do anything; that I should just give up on life.
Honestly, I am not looking for advice; or if I am I'm not yet aware of it. I already know how I should deal with the situation, but I've got a lot of emotions in the way. I guess I just feel like being fussed over a bit; perhaps if someone could share motivational break-up/moving-on stories or something it would help me feel a little less isolated right now. |
There's an NLP pattern that totally stabilized me after a breakup. If you really want to feel indifferent and bring yourself to emotional ground zero, ready to embrace your amazing life, instead of clinging to the past, I suggest you NOT JUST try it, but DO it.
Put together all the memories of this person. Include images, sounds, smells, sensory receptions ... everything associated. Memories of the memories too. Don't be afraid that you'll miss something, just put them together, clearly into one spot inside your head.
When you got them there, smash them to the ground with huge hatch door with a large sound, totally covering them with no escape. Spin the hatch lock and make it cling. As it locks up, the hatch becomes part of the ground and there is no way those memories would ever be activated
unless you consciously open that hatch.
If you left out some feelings/memories, put them together and lock them up under a smaller hatch next to the big one.
The cool part is that if you don't like the change, you can always open the door. Until you do, it's stuck all until hell freezes. And it's not repressing until the door explodes, it's merely blocking access in your mind to those neuroassociations. You created a metaphor for your mind that those triggers can't be accessed.