I'm sorry I'm not going to respond to everyone individually. Believe me, I appreciate your help a lot, but I have landed in downward spiral and I am in a pretty deep depression. I'm going to see a counselor hopefully and try and get some anti-depressants because I've gone beyond what is healthy for mourning. I've essentially lost control of my life and most of my emotions consist of anger, jealousy, and hate. I need to start reclaiming my life.
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