Quote:
Originally Posted by polyfulcrum  My main concern is around the idea that I am still the parent, and expect that my wishes will be complied with, even if we have a difference of opinion on a particular subject. How do we respectfully disagree without squelching her development, or undermining my authority as her parent? |
So - how can you raise a child who thinks for herself, without actually letting her think for herself? Or squelching her when she DOES think for herself?
I agree with looking at your thoughts and beliefs around parenting - WHY should your child comply with YOUR wishes?
I have done a lot of work around this issue, and I have come to know I cannot KNOW what would be best for another person. I can have an opinion, but that's about it. Letting go of the thought "I am the parent, which means they ultimately must do as I say" has been the BEST thing I've done, ever, in my whole life. It hasn't been easy - at different times, various blocks and issues have come up, and each time, I looked at them and learned how to let them go.
Supporting a child's independent thinking is the BEST way to get them to be an independent thinker! And that won't happen if you have to have the last word.
Quote:
* Once you have taught your child necessary Life-safety precautions, such as: what is food, & what is not, Electrical-outlets & fingers do not go together, what else can kill you, don't run into the street, yadda yadda, you get the drift - then, they're ready to Explore, & Discover the wonders of our world, more safely  excited & in fun... preserve the fun.
|
You don't even need to teach this! Kids will pick it up naturally - it's about keeping them safe until they're developmentally ready to take it on themselves. I only point this out because a LOT of parents use the "safety" issue as a way of still controlling the child; it's not needed! I have yet to meet a child who truly wanted to run in traffic. If they wanted - really wanted - to run in the street, I'd look at a way to get that desire met safely.