Originally Posted by Tripp444
You know, I was wondering if thinking about the things that I DO want is what is causing the relationship to fail. I had started doing that a while ago. I started focusing on all the things that I wanted in a partner. I was really trying to keep stay very positive about it, not dwell on the negative. It almost seemed like my husband and I started to drift apart even more. I think I am just going to keep on what I'm doing. I'm trying to stay really positive about the whole thing. I figure if I do that, then I can't go wrong.
I really do think that you can't go wrong by focusing on what you do want in a relationship. The other thing that helps - it seems to go hand in hand with focusing on what you want - is to, at the same time, become appreciative of all the things about your partner that you DO like.
I think part of it is that it can be difficult to focus on what you want without feeling that sense of lack in your life, no matter how positive you try to be, but if you also find things to appreciate in your current situation, it seems to take care of that feeling of lack.
And ultimately, it may be that the best thing for you is to have a new beginning. Or your husband might come up to speed with where you are. It sounds like you're going about all of this in a very good way!