Hopefully carenkh will see this (actually, I'll PM her a link) because I think she's got the info you need. She unschools with her kids and has a great parenting philosophy (I believe based on consentual living) which I think would achieve the goals you want.
One thing I would say, and maybe caren can provide some real world backup for this, is that when you raise your kids this way, there is little need for the child to comply as you don't come up against so many issues as you do when you use a more authoritarian approach. I guess what I mean is that you won't have to be concerned about your word being final because your kids will be open with you and respect your input and opinion of whatever is going on.
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I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives. --Green Day
The more I see, the less I know, the more I'd like to let it go. --Red Hot Chili Peppers |