I feel that by taking the difficult move of being honest and laying everything out on the table, that should be an indication you ARE changing. It's more important that honesty is restored to the relationship. Money losses come and go. People make mistakes. If she still cares anything about you, she'll be wiling to recognize how hard it is for you to admit these mistakes.
If it's the last straw, then the relationship was probably not going to last anyway. Better for you that you had a chance to make things right before it did end.
I might suggest that it's all in how this information is presented. I wouldn't just hand her the list of mistakes and let her deal with it. I'd preface it by talking about the new you, the new honestly, and the changes you hope to make. And then, once she seems to understand the "new" you, then ease into telling her about the mistakes.
Be willing to give up something big to show her you really are sorry. For example: if it was big foolish expenditures, suggest she keep control of the checkbooks and credit cards for the remainder of the year, and you live off an allowance. Show her that you're changing things to make it impossible for these same mistakes to keep happening.
Have you considered getting help in working through this, i.e a relationship therapist? There may be more going on here than her anger about your bad pattern. Communication (or rather lack of it) is why many relationships fail.
|